pickup BOOKSCAN (tm) Book Excerpt -- Packet Press BBS (301-294-0756) HOW TO DATE YOUNG WOMEN - FOR MEN OVER 35, R. Don Steele ABSTRACT: A refreshingly honest, entertaining, non-manipulative how-to with realistic methods and sound advice based on understanding young women's real motivation. Using a provocative, yet sensitive style Steele, 48, explains find- meet-talk techniques. Sixteen years of success-failure stories make for a fun read but maintain one's sense of realism about life, love and humanness. Readers learn what is appropriate, possible, and the consequences while reminded there are disadvantages plus a price to pay. $14.95, plus $2 shipping. Steel Balls Press, Box 807, Whittier, CA 90608. Money back guarantee. EXCERPTS When you're 75 years old, what will give you pleasure? My pleasure will probably come only from remembering. Thirty years from now, this is how it will happen. There I am, dozing in my wheel chair. Somebody nudges me awake. I open my eyes and see giant tits straining the zippered front of a white uniform. I look up into the smiling black face of Mandy, the 20 year old attendant. She grins a toothy smile, "Time fo' sum sunshin', Donny." I nod politely, then drop my eyes to her large bosom and stare. Something's familiar. I struggle to remember. She pushes me down the hall toward the veranda of the Golden Years Retirement Villa, pleasantly chattering away. As she talks, her dialect triggers my fogged up memory. Gradually old images, smells, feelings, sounds, sensations percolate up, flood my consciousness. I grin, start slobbering. In my mind, there I am again with my only black young lover, Genette. It's not 2016 any longer, it's 1979. I have her bra off but I can't get these tight jeans down over her wonderfully big, 22 year old hips. To tease me she puts on her best jive talk, "Shit! You white boys don' kno' nuffin 'bout black ass," grabs the waist and peels them off, giggling the whole time. I'm eating her. She takes my fingers off her nipples, and without a word, shows me I'm supposed to smash those giant tits against her chest, rub them 'round and 'round. She comes hard. Seconds later she comes harder. I get on and get us off, "bof us." Thirty years from now what will you remember? WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO LEARN This is not a book of interviews with young women and a writer's disguised guess as to what it all means. This is a how-to by a 48 year old man who has done it for the past ten years and continues to do it. You are going to learn how white, middle class young women think, what's important to them and what they want from a man. You'll know what you have look like and dress like to attract her. I explain where to find her, how to meet her, what to say to her, principles of courting when you're 20 years older than she is, what her real motives are for dating you, how to behave on dates and how to seduce her - the must do's as well as the no no's. UNDERSTAND HER I describe the unsettled life and troubled times of the typical 20 year old interested in dating an older man. Double the general disarray of this 20 year old's life for a 19 year old. Quadruple it for an 18 year old, but if she's in high school, multiply by ten. For each year past 20, reduce the disorder by half, unless she has a kid. The life of a 23 year old with one child is fifty times more jumbled than any 18 year old's. CONFLICT AND CONFUSION - SITUATION NORMAL. Thoughts and feelings arise from nowhere. She wants to choke her 13 year old sister because the brat gets to do everything she was forbidden at that age. She feels "sick" for wanting to feel her co-worker's big tits. Guilt arises when announcing she doesn't go to church any more, but after masturbating she wonders if God was really watching. Sometimes she's so terribly lonely she seriously considers killing herself. Her problems seem monumental. It is a time of stress and pressure you have forgotten about. She's confused by the flood of emotions you cause in her. During one week she feels elated, guilty, foolish, sexual, womanly, appreciated, accepted, curious, naive, inept, whorish, glamorous, sad, sensual, romantic, grown-up, lustful, horny, sated, childlike, daughter-like and a hundred others you and I can't empathize with. Her confusion drives you crazy. She picks a fight so she can cancel a date because she's feeling guilty, again. She's impulsive, confused, ignorant and scared. If your affair's been going for three months or more, add bored. Sounds pretty negative, right? Well, my friend, I chose to tell you the bad news first. Why? Because if you think everything's going to be easy or you don't want to take the bad with the wonderful, put the book down. Call up that 38 year old with three kids. Or, you can get back to important things like watching tv. If you're serious, keep reading and absorb the negatives. Digest them. Mull them over. They are key to understanding her, something you must do before you can ever hope to talk with her, let alone date her. In a few chapters, you'll get the good news. WHAT SHE KNOWS ABOUT SEX Mummy and Daddy pounded it into her head boys are only interested in one thing. By now she believes it. Every male to date has tried to pack her pipe within hours or on the second date. She gave her first hand job at 15, then gave up her virginity at the Junior Prom. Since then the best sex was with some guy she picked up one weekend in Palm Springs. He was 26 but never called when she got back to LA like he promised. Most limit themselves to young males, you know, marriable. That's why they're disappointed, unfulfilled and interested in you. Living with a boy does not help much. It does get her over the mystery of sex and does away with old wives' tales about male plumbing. Those who have lived with their boyfriends are sexually experienced to his level, meaning they have tried everything he knows. In my experience only a few young women have ever achieved orgasm as the result of a young man's actions, unless it was an accident, an unrepeatable accident. (Don't concern yourself with this the first few times, as explained in Sex With Her.) UNDERSTANDING ALL 18-24 YEAR OLDS Young women, even girls as young a 14, have the same undesirable, unpleasant qualities of adult women, they are catty and viciously competitive over males. The world feels new and fresh to the young. They sincerely feel it can be changed and they think they're the ones who can do it. Never be cynical or laugh at her idealism. Young females need to be hugged and cuddled. When you get the chance give her plenty of both. They are not comfortable with competition or competing except with each other for males. Don't stress winning when involved in any sport if she's around. Don't play any games with her if you share the view of Al Davis of the Raiders, "Just Win, Baby." Don't let her win but don't take a backgammon game seriously. The girl who places high value on academic achievement is strikeout city. Her focus is in the wrong place to enjoy you and life while she's pleasing her parents or society with a high GPA. None of them fuck like they dance. None of them fuck like they dress. They have no idea how overdone they are in these two areas. Her soap operas, television programs and trash novels have convinced her "sugar" comes with the territory. She's not really a gold digger. She just thinks that's part of the deal. Squash this concept early on. Small, inexpensive, thoughtful gifts are appropriate. Bigger things come later, at the same time you'd give them to a woman you enjoyed dating for months and months. Lower your desire for physical beauty from 9.5 to 7.5 and watch fifty percent of the competition disappear. From my experience the young woman who is average looking with an average figure is easier to meet, a much nicer person, a better human being, as well as being more fun than any stunning looking one. She feels appreciated for the first time in her life. She is. Forget the high schooler. Her head is up her ass and will be for two more years. Proms, football games, Friday dances, Jimmy's bitchin', totally rad, new Vee Dub convertible. Forget the big titted girl. The competition is, pardon the pun, too stiff. Every male within 500 miles is interested. If you insist, never mention her figure and don't even look at those double D's. Forget the beauty queen or any beauty. The competition is, pardon the same pun, too stiff. She's able to pick and choose and she's heard it all before from practiced experts. Too much trouble, thinks she really is a princess. Forget all born agains, girls with doves, fish or "I Love Jesus" symbols on their cars or around their necks. They look normal. Some can even talk normal. Believe brother, believe. They're marching to the beat of a different drummer. Say Amen. HER MOTIVES FOR DATING YOU You're asking her to go against everything parents, boyfriend, church, society and girl friends have drilled into that pretty young head and heart of hers. Why will she do it? One element of her motivation is the desire to be seriously fucked, the way she's heard it's supposed to be done. As you now know her best experience does not begin to measure up to what she's heard from other girls, read in trashy novels or Cosmopolitan. And, "fer sure," there is the stereotype of older men as knowledgeable, experienced lovers. Don't get this wrong. She's not obsessed with sex but wonders if she's missing something important. So far her boyfriend's best efforts aren't much. He's reluctant to give her head and has no idea a clit isn't a miniature dick, if he even knows where it is. She and her contemporaries know, on some level, there's more to it. She wants to experience life. You have the knowledge and money to show her a world she's only seen on television and read about in People. Older lovers have lots to offer says Cosmopolitan. One of her girl friend's acquaintances has one. She's ready to give it a try. So how do you get involved? Order the book. REVIEWS Honest advice, helpful to readers, with that title, surprisingly non- exploitive. David Dreis, West Coast Review of Books Steele's book is bold, harsh, funny, human, an unpredictable page turner. Kimberly Matthews, Denver Singles Alliance Gloves off talk, more than a dating book, must reading for divorced men, and women who want to understand them. Edward Haldeman, Single Fathers United Exactly what's going on inside a fortyish man's head. Every woman, single or married, over 30 should read this book! Lynn Rowten, The Singles Register